"Suffer the little Children"
Sunday night. This night has sort of a paradoxical connotation tied to it for me. It goes back to, for lack of a better (read: trite) euphemism, my extremely crappy childhood.
Let me explain. I was, like many of you, a child of divorce. I lived with my mother, saw my father on weekends (when he remembered he had a daughter waiting for him to pick her up) and dealt with all of the guilt, sadness, and overall wistfulness of being the kid caught between parents that hated each other. It was, as I mentioned, extremely crappy. And Sundays were the worst because that was the day that my father would drop me back off at home, and I knew it could be the last time I ever saw him. I would make my way into the house where my mother would be waiting, and if I looked even the least bit sad, she would launch into attack mode. “Oh what’s the matter—had so much fun with your dad that coming home to your boring old mother is too depressing? Well sorry I have to work two jobs to support us since that fun-loving s.o.b. doesn’t bother to pay child support….” And on it would go until her energy was spent and I was completely demoralized. My saving grace was, ironically, the fact that my father didn’t see me every weekend, so the times when I was forgotten actually saved part of my soul. Paradox extraordinaire, oui?
This childhood memory, glum though it may be, completely shaped the person I am today. For better or worse. What did I learn? Well, for one, I learned that being yourself and feeling what you feel has consequences. It seems like a crazy lesson, right? But it is one that I draw on to this day. I spent so much time trying to hide who I was and how I felt as a kid, that I eventually lost sight of who that actually was. When I was little, the price seemed way too high, what with listening to my mother rant and rave and tell me how ungrateful I was, so I really felt that masking my true emotions was worth it. And into my teen years, I sort of just grew accustomed to doing that. It wasn’t until I was living on my own that the impact of that mindset became clear to me: Nobody knew me. Oh sure, people knew who I was-my name was out there. But nobody actually KNEW me. And it was really scary, and really lonely.
I wish I could say that once I had this epiphany, my life magically transformed and I became a mature, well-adjusted, productive member of society. But, since I would never lie to you guys, I can’t say that because that’s not what happened. It took time. A lot of time, with a lot of very painful repercussions resulting from my journey of enlightenment. But, now, here I am. A bit worse for the wear, but soul utterly intact and identity firmly entrenched in each decision I make. Was it worth it? Absofreakinglutely.
So, now it’s your turn.
What childhood memory thus far has shaped who you are? Do you want this memory to be the blueprint for which you design your “true Self?” If the answer is no, think about how you can change your perspective on it. What can you learn? If the answer is yes, talk about how you can impact the world and those in it who are most important to you. What lesson would you want to impart that has its root in this memory? I know this is hard; take your time. Nothing worth having is ever easy. And this answer is worth having. Trust me.
Let me explain. I was, like many of you, a child of divorce. I lived with my mother, saw my father on weekends (when he remembered he had a daughter waiting for him to pick her up) and dealt with all of the guilt, sadness, and overall wistfulness of being the kid caught between parents that hated each other. It was, as I mentioned, extremely crappy. And Sundays were the worst because that was the day that my father would drop me back off at home, and I knew it could be the last time I ever saw him. I would make my way into the house where my mother would be waiting, and if I looked even the least bit sad, she would launch into attack mode. “Oh what’s the matter—had so much fun with your dad that coming home to your boring old mother is too depressing? Well sorry I have to work two jobs to support us since that fun-loving s.o.b. doesn’t bother to pay child support….” And on it would go until her energy was spent and I was completely demoralized. My saving grace was, ironically, the fact that my father didn’t see me every weekend, so the times when I was forgotten actually saved part of my soul. Paradox extraordinaire, oui?
This childhood memory, glum though it may be, completely shaped the person I am today. For better or worse. What did I learn? Well, for one, I learned that being yourself and feeling what you feel has consequences. It seems like a crazy lesson, right? But it is one that I draw on to this day. I spent so much time trying to hide who I was and how I felt as a kid, that I eventually lost sight of who that actually was. When I was little, the price seemed way too high, what with listening to my mother rant and rave and tell me how ungrateful I was, so I really felt that masking my true emotions was worth it. And into my teen years, I sort of just grew accustomed to doing that. It wasn’t until I was living on my own that the impact of that mindset became clear to me: Nobody knew me. Oh sure, people knew who I was-my name was out there. But nobody actually KNEW me. And it was really scary, and really lonely.
I wish I could say that once I had this epiphany, my life magically transformed and I became a mature, well-adjusted, productive member of society. But, since I would never lie to you guys, I can’t say that because that’s not what happened. It took time. A lot of time, with a lot of very painful repercussions resulting from my journey of enlightenment. But, now, here I am. A bit worse for the wear, but soul utterly intact and identity firmly entrenched in each decision I make. Was it worth it? Absofreakinglutely.
So, now it’s your turn.
What childhood memory thus far has shaped who you are? Do you want this memory to be the blueprint for which you design your “true Self?” If the answer is no, think about how you can change your perspective on it. What can you learn? If the answer is yes, talk about how you can impact the world and those in it who are most important to you. What lesson would you want to impart that has its root in this memory? I know this is hard; take your time. Nothing worth having is ever easy. And this answer is worth having. Trust me.
The childhood memory that has shaped me to be the person I am today, I would have to say is the day my mom kicked my dad out for being a D.P.O.S.. I watched him leave and not even hesitate. From this day on I will live my life to make sure nobody in my life that I care about feels that way. Yes I don't mind this being the blueprint of my "true self" because my mother being basically my mom and father my whole life has taught me nothing but loving everyone and not walking out no matter what, and that's the only thing that matters. I know what some of you are thinking, saying that's "probably not good" "are u okay" "ur a pushover" but I in no way see it that way. Most likely never will, and that's okay. Like I was saying, when I get older and eventually have kids I will make sure that they never feel like I did. Another lesson that is attached with this memory would be not to hold grudges for too long because I was so mad at my dad for leaving and I really didn't get to talk to him before he died. So now I try to not get as mad at people and if I do, to get over it quickly. Life is too short
ReplyDeleteMy parents gave me an amazing childhood. They spoiled me as best as they could, and made sure I was always warm, fed and had a cozy place to sleep. I slept with them in their bed until middle school because I loved them so much and was scared to sleep alone. I love my parents and we have always gotten along. It's not them that is the problem. My dad's brother and his wife have a daughter who is about 12 years older than I am, and she loves starting drama with my family. She cursed my parents out 4 years ago and none of us have talked to her since. Her and her family are always talking bad about my mom for as long as I can remember. That is the most prominent negative thing I can remember about my childhood, and even today.
ReplyDeleteI want to use this memory to not allow my family to be like this when I am older. I want everyone to be at peace and not start drama 24/7 for no reason at all. I do not want to be like them at all so I can learn to be like my parents, humble and rising above all the drama people throw at them. The biggest lesson I can teach my kids and my family when I am older is to respect each other and other family members so that they can implement this when they grow up and have their own family.
The other lesson I have learned through all of this is that people will go out of their way to bring you down, and those are not the people worth keeping in your life. I will do anything to defend my mom now, and I wish I defended her more when I was younger because I hate when people talk bad about my mom.
The tragic event in my life that really shaped me was the death of my dad. For as long as I remember I looked up to my dad just as most sons do with their dads. I wanted to be exactly like him. My dad was a huge jokester. He was extremely sarcastic and was never serious. We would go out to movies when he got home from delivering cars to other states. My dad had a tradition where every week we would go to Wal-Mart and get a movie from the $5 bin for his truck. We would stay up all night playing video games over the summer. He also exposed me to my favorite band Lynyrd Skynyrd. I made pathetic attempts to crack jokes but I was never as funny as my dad. For about a year my mom and dad split up and I was only aloud to see my dad over the weekends. I dreaded leaving my dads house every Sunday. That's when I first realized that my life would absolutely suck if my dad wasn't in my life. One sunny July day my nightmares became reality when I lost my dad. My dad rarely cried and never showed pain. When my dad died I tried my hardest to stay strong for my family. My mom would say that maybe I would need therapy if i started to get depressed so that was another reason why I tried to stay strong. This went on for years. I kept hiding my pain just like my dad did. I have breakdowns every now and then but know one will ever know that. If you know me you also know I am very sarcastic and rarely serious. Ring any bells? The music I listen to and the movies I watch were all set up from the long road trips in my dads big rig. My sarcastic nature was from years of watching my dad. I think the reason I wanted to be like my dad so much is because I hated my mom and never had anyone else to look up to. I don't plan on changing my lifestyle and I plan on being as good as a dad as my dad was. The only person I can thank for shaping me is my dad.
ReplyDeleteI luckily never lived a “struggle life” because by the time I grew up, my parents managed to become a middle class family in a new country. I never felt like I lacked anything because my parents made sure I never did, especially my dad. I don’t ever ask my parents for much unlike my brother, but when I do, I always get it. I’m not spoiled, my parents just feel like they let me down if they don’t get something I want for me. I’m fortune to have parents who make sure I never feel like I am lacking something. Despite having great parents, my family isn’t the same when they all get together and drink, especially my dad & grandpa. I remember hating every family gathering because everytime we got together, all the men would drink and then there would be fights (physical & verbal) and I just remember crying every time. Like one year I had a party for my birthday and again, my grandpa got drunk and I just cried again. While I was crying, I remember one of my aunts told me “you’re not apart of the family till you cry on at least one of your birthdays because of a fight.” My grandpa wasn’t the only one who started fights though, my dad would do the exact same thing with my mom. He would constantly just say stuff when he was drunk which again led to fights (physical and verbal). I haven’t seen my parents in a physical fight in a long time thankfully, but when they did, it would end in my brother and I crying/screaming/throwing up & my mom threatening to leave my dad. My grandpa and dad don’t drink like they used to, I haven’t seen one of these horrible fights in years, but if you know me, you know I hate alcohol & even smoking. Alcohol and smoking both alter how you act from what I’ve seen and you’re a completely different person. I’ve never seen more love in a couple than I’ve seen in my parents despite seeing all the fighting when my dad would drink. My mom wouldn’t ever leave my dad and vise versa. I just learned not to ever drink beyond what i’m capable of if I ever do, I just hate it. I don’t even like when someone i’m close to like a friend smokes/drinks because of this reason. I would want this memory to be a “blue print” from which I create my true self because it’s apart of my morals now to never do things like I’ve seen. It’s painful watching and I wouldn’t want my children to ever experience that.
ReplyDeleteLooking back on my childhood I think a lot about all the negatives even though there were plenty of positives too. But what stuck most was watching a loveless marriage. For a long time I was unsure of how I should be treated in friendships and relationships because I had no one to look up to and take examples from. This kindof does act as a blue print for my "true self" because I base a lot of my interactions with other people on how they should treat me and how I should treat them looking at how negative and mean that loveless marriage was. I also have a really strong desire to run from things that feel similar to that, and I'm afraid of being in that situation. To others who I feel will benefit from hearing what something like that feels like and the sings and how you shouldn't feel, I will and do tell them about this part of my childhood because it's just such a toxic place to be and to have to experience everyday. Even watching that as a child just leaves you completely confused. If there's a lesson I could get across from this it'd be to take a few steps back from the relationship you look up to or even the ones your in with a partner or friends and think about how they make you feel. I think a lot of people stay in bad relationships because they think they have to fight for a good relationship or that it has to be hard to really work, but I think it breaks you more than builds. And plenty of people don't realize their relationship was horrible until their torn up.
ReplyDeleteMy parents gave me the best life. Whenever I asked for something, they usually gave it to me so I guess you could say I was spoiled. Being the only child, all the attention was on me. They loved me, and still love me, with all their heart. They shielded me from everything bad and made sure I wouldn’t get hurt. But this time, they couldn’t protect me. When I was 7 years old, my parents left me with extended family so that they could go food shopping because we were on vacation. My extended family is all white, so I stuck out like a sore thumb. They’re also very redneck so they hate change. They ended up forgetting about me because I was so quiet. I just sit by myself while everyone else socialized. My uncle, who was in his usual drunken stupor attitude, ended up saying something derogative about my moms then me. My moms came in just in time for them to hear it and they got into a fight. I didn’t see my family after that for 7 years. That moment shaped my whole childhood because my parents didn’t put me through any more negativity. If they had chose to stay and put up with uncle’s narrowminded bullshit, I would probably be more miserable than I already am.
ReplyDeleteThe air has been cleared with my family since but I will never forget what my uncle said to my parents and I. I can’t say what I want to say because it’ll probably cause a war, I can’t bring home any significant others because they’ll judge them, and most importantly, I can’t be proud of myself. There’s always a one-up whenever I accomplish something. I can never win. And for my future family, I don’t want this happen. I want our family to be close knit and loved and happy. No drama. No fucking drama over dumb shit. I want kids (if I decide to have any) to love their cousins and aunts and uncles with all of their hearts. I don’t want them to be afraid of their extended family like I was (and still sometimes am).
I’m happy that my parents did the mature thing and left when we weren’t being treated right. If it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t have learned that you don’t take shit from others, even if it’s from your own family. My ‘true-self’ knows that respect is a two way street and that you shouldn’t let people walk all over you. You need a backbone in this world and without my parents removing us from the abusive equation, I wouldn’t have one.
`My childhood is something that I think about from time to time, but not all memories in it were the happiest. At one point we had a happy family that went on trips, played games, and spent so much time together. My sister and I were lucky to have the parents that we had because they are both awesome people. But these joyful memories of my childhood are unfortunately overshadowed by the bad memories. Everytime I look back I see our family slowing falling apart and this makes me not want to think about the past, but only think about the present and future. The event from my childhood that has shaped me the most is my parent’s divorce for sure. Seeing a marriage fall apart as a young kid is something that was tough to deal with. I saw constant arguing, there was always tension, and I could tell that something was up. They tried to hide it from me but I could still put the pieces together. The divorce made me grow up too fast and made me the quiet person I am today. Growing up every kid loves Christmas and all Holidays, but I think I learned that santa wasn’t real a little too early. Going to my mom’s house to open presents and then to my dad’s for more presents set off my little kid alarm telling me that something wasn’t right. I became very quiet and didn’t really want to talk to anyone. I eventually got over my parent’s divorce but it has definitely changed the way I think and act.
ReplyDeleteThis would be the way I blueprint how I design my true self because it had a big impact on who I am today. I can’t just leave this huge fact out and have an explanation on how I came to be who I am. Even though this isn’t a good memory about my childhood, it’s still important and needs to be recognized for sure. It has definitely changed the way I see love and my thoughts on it. I don’t ever want to have my marriage fall apart in front of my kids because that’s terrible. They don’t deserve to go through that, they deserve to see their parents happy together, but sometimes it just doesn’t work out. And this is why when I get married I will make sure it is to someone that I truly want to spend the rest of my life with and start a family with. My impact on the world would start with teaching my kids how to be good people and have them pass it down to their kids. A global impact starts with yourself and that is where I will start.
A lesson that I have learned from this memory is to be honest with yourself and others because it will always have a better outcome than lying. I don’t lie to myself to make me feel better and I tell it how it is. If someone asks me something I’m going to give them my honest opinion or advice and that’s what a lot of people like about me. I also like people that will tell me the truth no matter how hard it may be. I have seen people lie about shit and it just leads to more problems. Even those little lies add up and they catch up with you, so I try to be as honest as possible at all times.
So going through what I did as a kid was tough but I’m not going to complain about it, it is what it is and I can’t change what happened. People had it way worse than I did and I’m just happy I got to have two parents teach what was right and what’s wrong. Many people had way tougher childhoods than me so I’m not one to talk about experiences like these a lot. There are some strong people out there and I know I couldn’t deal with half the shit they go through. I always love seeing happy families together having a great time, but I always have that realization that it can’t always be like that and it sucks, but it’s true unfortunately.
My glum childhood memory isn’t really one that I remember vividly, but one where I’ll never forget that night. My parents got divorced when I was 2. I didn’t truly know the nature of why they got divorced until about two years ago, when my mom and my sister sat me down and told me what happened. I’ll write more about that later on, but the memory that sticks out a lot in my head is when I was 6. It was when I was on my way back from my dad’s apartment after staying there for the weekend. On the car ride home, it was me, my dad, his new wife, and their kid, my brother. Anyways, when we got back to my house, I’ll probably never figure out why, but my grandmother, who was living at my house at the time, got really mad at my dad. Maybe it was because tensions were still high and it was the first time she had seen my dad’s new wife and kid. Either way, all I can remember from there is me looking out my front door window and seeing my dad and his new wife arguing with my grandmother and sister. And they argued for hours on end, so long in fact that my mom came home to them all arguing and decided to join in on the fiasco. And the worst part for me was that I couldn’t do anything to stop them. It was almost like there was some sort of force holding me back from stopping them arguing. After arguing for a solid three hours straight, my dad and his new family finally drove off and my sister came back inside my house crying because my dad said something about her dad (and she has daddy issues too, worse than mine), my mom was trying to find me to make sure I was okay and then she went upstairs in her bathroom and she started smoking cigarettes.
ReplyDeleteWriting this blog post, I’m starting to realize a lot of things that even my mom didn’t tell me about in 2016. My parents got divorced in 2002. My brother was born in 2002. My dad cheated on my mom. And not only that, but before the divorce, he was a frequent party person, only worked at the casinos, stayed out late and hit my sister. And all of that caused my mom stress and high blood pressure, which was already an issue after she had me. She almost died from the stress and high blood pressure my father caused her multiple times.
I don’t quite know how different my life would be if my father didn’t do all those things. Right now, I’m about to go into college and for years now, my dad and his side of the family, along with his wife and my brother have treated me like family. I can’t imagine what life would be without them. But the point I’m trying to get across here is my dad is a shitty person, there is no running around it. But he’s my father and I have to love him, just like I have to love my brother and his mom and all their relatives. But after realizing what my father has done to my mother, both mentally and physically, I strive to be so much better than that. There are plenty of men out there now that act like my father did, and it’s in mainstream media. Just look up any mainstream rapper now and days, where all they rap about is drugs and sex and abusing women. Some actually just write those lyrics for the money, but others don’t care who they put their hands on. Who they talk down on or how they portray themselves. It’s disgusting how much society normalizes behavior like that now.
My true self will be a honorable man, someone who is worth actually giving a shit about. Someone who wants what’s best for the loved ones around him. That’s my goal because if there is one thing that I want, that I need to accomplish in my lifetime, it is to be a better man that my father was and still is if I’m being completely honest. Then pass down my morals to my kids and make sure that they teach it to their children. Men already get a bad reputation my women today, and my goal is to at least change their mindsets mildly. To make sure women know there are men out there that actually care you that aren’t a relative. So as long as I am breathing, I will make sure that the people I love about and care for will never have to go through what my mom did.
Throughout my childhood I have been extremely blessed to have the life that I had as a kid. I had parents that cared for both my brother and I and who both loved each other. Growing up my big brother Tyler was someone who I idolized. When he first found out my parents were having me he was extremely upset because I wasn’t a girl but I think he came to the realization that having a little brother was much better. We both loved each other and did everything together.
ReplyDeleteMy brother was always taller than me when I was little but as time grew on I started to catch up to him until I was his height. My parents wondered and so did I about why he wasn’t growing and I can remember a specific day in my life when I had a life changing event happen to me. About five years ago my Mom took my brother for testing at a local practice and she told me something that doesn’t really seem that bad to most but for me at the time it sucked. I asked my Mom about how Tyler’s test results were and she said that his bone plates had fused and he would never grow again. Keep in mind my brother was only 5’2 at the time and in high school. People already made fun of his height and he had his whole life ahead of him.
I felt terrible and there wasn’t anything I could do to fix it. My brother was extremely disappointed and upset but he stayed strong about it. He stood so tall to face the adversity and he continued on with his life. This specific event still inspires me to this day and has changed my outlook on life immensely. My brother taught me that no one can judge you and that it doesn’t matter what other people say. This also taught me not to judge other people with possible health issues because you have no idea what that person could have gone through. My brother may stand small but he has the biggest heart out of anybody I know.
I had a really great childhood where I was surrounded by love and taught how to be a good person. Nothing bad ever really happened to me, I was lucky enough to have a somewhat sheltered childhood.
ReplyDeleteWhen trying to think of a memory that affected me, I thought about a kid that lived across the street for me. This kid was an absolute asshole. He broke things, he cussed out his mom, and will beat up kids on the bus. This kid was a nightmare. I know this sounds like a stupid memory to bring up but it honestly showed me how not to act. My mom used to talk about how much she hated this kid and since I wanted to do nothing but please my mom I would just act the opposite of him.
So growing up I was always very obedient to my parents and that really never changed. Seeing that kid act out was the first memory I have where I thought about what kind of person I want to be.
This memory is what led me to be such a respectful person. I want people to treat me the way I treat them. So I guess In some way I do want this memory to be the "blue print" for which I design my true self because I like who I am now. From a very young age I learned how to be a good person and that's the only lesson I really take away from that.
A childhood memory thus far that shaped who I am is my parents divorce. No I don't not want this memory to be my blueprint for my “true self” because this was a negative experience in my life.It was not a happy time in my life therefore I don't not want it to shape the future of myself. If I reaIly put effort into it and tried to make it a most positive aspect of my life and explore ways it may have changed my look on life, love etc. I’m sure I could find many lessons it had taught me. This being said I don't think I will ever try to see it as a positive thing in my life due to the fact that I believe it brought me more pain, anger, hurt, etc. than it brought anything positive into my life. If I could think of a lesson I would want to impart that has a root from this memory it would be independence. Living with one parent really makes you do more than you had done before in a house with 2 parents. You are also more independent because you are left home alone a lot, whereas before you had another parent there with you.
ReplyDeleteMy childhood memory, being that both my parents are religious, is going to church every single sunday. No offense to religion or people who are religious but I don’t feel comfortable with me being religious. This has shaped me, personally, to have a rebellious behavior and mindset. My parents lied to me and would always say that “this week will be different and more fun.” but it never was. It always got worse and worse but now as I’m older, I just learned how to deal with it just so my religion-forcing parents would be happy. Them lying about religion and church has caused me to change from my pip-squeak-care-about-everything self to a more relaxed and not caring about anything self. I always think twice about what my parents say and always try to think what they say over no matter what. I don’t want this memory to design my true self because I feel like I would have succeeded more in school, sports, and everything else in life. Although I am happy with my personality today, I would like to see myself with a different thought and mind process. If this memory hadn’t shaped who I am today, I feel like I would have impacted the world greatly. I would be a more positive, friendly, and trusting person to everyone around me. The lesson I want to take from this memory is to not take everything for granted and to appreciate what I have in life because it can be taken away with just the snap of the fingers.
ReplyDeleteIf I had to pick a memory from my childhood that shaped me it would probably be not having much of an extended family. Growing up I was thankful I lived with my married parents and my older sister. We were a typical family, we had our differences at times but at the end of the day we loved each other and we could depend on one another. Although growing up I was happy to have that, it did bother me at times that my aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. couldn't get along for anything. It didn't matter where we were or what we were doing. It was always some kind of problem or argument. So that left the four of us and my grandmother but other than that holidays and special occasions were always spent with friends and the little bit of family that could get along. In the moment it bothered me more but now I'm used to it. As I've grown up I've looked at it differently. Me and my sister promised each other that no matter what happens between us we were going to work through it so we can have a strong family that can do things together. This is a blueprint in my life because I can learn from them and their mistakes for my family in the future. This is one thing that has inspired me to be a family lawyer. I have such a heart for families because I see the value in them and I know how it affects the children growing up. I plan on fighting for families and being a voice for children. This situation has gave me a passion for families and I'm excited to impact the world in the future. The lesson I learned is the value of family and how they are important to have in your life. Unity is essential to having a happy family.
ReplyDeleteI was/am very fortunate to have the childhood that I had/have. So much so, that I can't recall a negative memory, or something that drastically changed me and my outlook on life. While being a twin isn't necessarily a memory, it is something that has shaped who I am. What most people don't realize is that being a twin can be challenging. I grew up very dependant- being around someone constantly led me to not knowing any different. Additionally, it has caused me to be very competitive. With the help of others, I am always comparing myself to something or someone. I find it difficult to just be me. I feel like I could always do better, and I get scared when others are progressing and I am not. I completely blame this on growing up as a twin. I don't want this to be the blueprint for which I design my true self. I want to be able to be independent with life, and I want to be more easy on myself. I feel like because I have struggled with these traits my whole life, I am determined to make it a point to teach my kids independence and satisfaction with themselves at an early age. I don't want them to always rely on someone to be there, and I certainly don't want them to never feel good about themselves.
ReplyDeleteI was very fortunate to have the childhood that I did. My parents were/are the most supportive, accepting, nurturing, and loving kind out there. My nights consisted of home cooked meals, help on my homework, and cuddle sessions in their bed watching our favorite shows. My Christmas Eves consisted of my dad coming home from work to a fire roaring in the fireplace, Jingle Bells blasting, and the smell of fresh cookies in the oven to put out for Santa. My summers were spent at my grandparents house, as our entire family from all around the globe gathered together for our annual family reunion, where we stuffed our faces with burgers and played musical chairs and had water balloon fights. I was very blessed to have the childhood that I had.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was 5, my grandpa was diagnosed with cancer. Not the you’ll-be-okay-we-can-kill-this-monster-inside-of-you-without-a-problem type of cancer. It was more of the you-have-a-few-weeks-to-say-goodbye-to-your-family type of cancer. I was so young, so I didn’t really understand why one day I was sitting next to his bed, holding his hand, saying goodbye like my mom was making me. Why would I say goodbye when I would just see him the next morning, walking down the stairs singing “you are my sunshine” to me? I didn’t understand why my aunts and uncles and cousins had red eyes with tears in them. I didn’t understand why this random lady came to the house and sat down with me to play games and talk to me and comfort me and tell me that my grandpa would be happy soon. Why was she comforting me when the next morning my grandpa would be walking down the stairs telling me I’m his sunshine, giving me all of the comfort I ever needed? The next morning my grandpa didn’t walk down the stairs.
A few years later, my other grandpa, my dad’s dad, was diagnosed with cancer, and joined my mom’s dad in Heaven. Maybe 2 years after that, my grandma (my dad’s mom), joined them in the sky as I was in the car, on my way to say goodbye. At this time, I understood it all.
If you’ve ever wondered why I am so determined to kick cancer in the ass, this is why. Having to live without three of my grandparents thanks to cancer is the reason behind the Lemon Club and my desire to be a doctor and make a change in the world. I think about them for as long as I breathe and their loss has made me want to do everything in my power to prevent another family from feeling the loss that I do. I guess these memories can be the blueprint for my true self. I would describe my true self as someone who lives to impact others so they don’t have to go through what I went through. I’m someone who loves anything medical related and dreams of figuring out a way to save all of these lives that are being taken away. Losing those three very important people gave me motivation to make the world a healthier place, so hopefully one day that will pay off to those around me.
I had a pretty good childhood as a kid I didn't really have any struggles growing up. whenever there was something I wanted, at a very young age my parents taught me that I had to work for whatever it was that I wanted, that I had to earn it, and that nothing will be just given to me in life. especially my dad he was the main one that taught me about a lot of life lessons and a way of living life.
ReplyDeleteAs I’m sure I’ve mentioned before, I’ve lived a blessed life, and my childhood was an extremely ideal one. I grew up in a positive environment, was able to access all my basics needs, and then some. I didn’t survive, I thrived. And that’s what I want to be the blueprint for my true self- A “How to Thrive” guideline. A key memory in this blueprint has to do with the belief I have in myself. In my childhood, this confidence culminated in me when I won 1st place in a Fine Arts competition. In my old school, they held annual Fine Arts competitions in where different schools would come together and compete in the various arts (music, acting, art, etc.). The students who placed earned points for their school, and the school with the most points won. So backtrack a couple months before the competition, and I’m sweating hard. My teacher had just somehow convinced me to take part in “Fine Arts”, in a category called Humorous Interpretation, by MYSELF. Now, I was a funny guy, and this wasn’t my first time being on a stage. However, I had never memorized more than a page and a half before, and I certainly had never been on stage by myself. Being the only representative from Pilgrim, I’d be their only hope at winning this category. So, naturally, I was panicking. And for the first time ever, I went to my parents for guidance. I hated relying on them for some strange reason. I still do. I just don’t want to bother them, but this time I was really nervous. They gave me kind, reassuring, but most importantly, LOGICAL words that calmed me down, and made me realize that I CAN in fact do it. So I practiced. And practiced. And practiced some more, in front of the school. I perfected it. So, I went to the competition and won. I brought home 1st place, and gave our school the points it deserved. And yes, Pilgrim won that year. The lesson to those I care about is simple. Look inward and outward. Look at yourself, and who you are. Then believe. You can in fact do it, the question is will you? Also look to close family and friends. They can be your greatest comfort in times of need.
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